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Volume 9, Issue 18 Friday, May 04, 2007
Hello All,
Annette, David and I have a connection to Parkland (see Jeanette Ford’s comments below.) When we were a young couple with a baby, living in Dallas and so poor we had to save up for a year to go to the drive in on “Dollar Night”, we had to use the services of Parkland.
Annette became very ill one night, and I rushed her to Parkland.
At the hospital, the guard allowed me to double park while I carried Annette and David in. She was pretty much unconscious and David was only an infant. There I stood, holding my wife in one arm and my son in the other. Scared and frustrated at the desk clerk who was asking about our insurance (which we didn’t have.) I told her that I’d answer her questions If she’d allow me to put Annette in a room. The clerk got a gurney and I laid Annette on it while I explained that we didn’t have any insurance nor money.
The ER at Parkland was enormous. After finishing with the ward clerk and turning David over to Louis and Sandra Stubbs (I’d called them before leaving for the hospital) I found Annette in a curtained cubicle. They’d gotten her nausea under control and for the next hour or so we huddled there, watching the flow of life and death around us.
That was our only trip to Parkland, the next week we found the “Free Clinic” and our future medical needs were met in the company of the Hare Chrisnas singing in the waiting room.
~~~~~
Who would have thought we would have this many Anniversaries. Annette and I sure fooled them.
~~~~~
If you’re not Reading Michael Yon [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/], you’re not getting the story on the war and our troops.
~
Greetings:
There is a link to a new dispatch is at bottom of this message. Thank you to bloggers for any links. There is no need to be here getting shot at unless people at home see the photos and stories of Iraqis, and our people at war.
On April 30, as passengers waited to depart the Basra Airfield on a flight to Baghdad, the alarm for incoming mortar/rocket fire sounded perhaps a half-dozen times. Fortunately, no explosions were close. Our British friends truly are fighting down in Basra. Several more dispatches related to Brits, including some with night vision video, will be published over the coming couple of weeks. Every moment with the Brits was time well spent. Excellent soldiers.
I'm back in Baghdad, having run two combat missions in the first 30-hours with CSM Jeffrey Mellinger. As one blogger put it, CSM Mellinger is like a mixture between your grandfather and Batman. He's spent nearly three continuous years in Iraq, and I have been fortunate enough to drive about 4,000 miles around Iraq with Batman. The last time his patrol was attacked by IED was last week. There is no doubt that many of our troops are alive today because this veteran, after nearly 35 years of active service, still goes into combat and personally tests the waters, gear and procedures.
CS Mellinger led a mission yesterday that took us to a Combat Outpost. Per chance, the outpost was seriously attacked by rocket fire shortly before we arrived. Two U.S. soldiers were badly wounded in the attack. The last time I had visited that outpost with CSM Mellinger, an Iraqi was shot while trying to get through security. Turns out he may have been drunk. The man was alive and under U.S. care when we left. After the rocket attack yesterday, we visited the wounded soldiers in the Combat Support hospital. There had been loss of limbs, yet their spirits were high. One soldier wanted to go home to visit his wife and children but then return to see this through. Hopefully his wounds will not preclude his return to duty, though his condition truly was serious.
I'll be in Baghdad some days longer waiting for a new laptop and camera gear to arrive from the states. Gear gets mangled here. While waiting for the replacement lenses and laptop to arrive, I would like to thank readers for the ongoing support. At the rate I am burning through gear on this embed, support is becoming more critical with every passing day. Reader support is making more difference than I can say.
As described in Desires of the Human Heart II [http://www.michaelyon-online.com/wp/desires-of-the-human-heart-part-ii.htm], there are signs of progress here. Some occurred during my days with the 1-4 Cav from Fort Riley. Please click the link above.
On a final note, there has been a release about a reality television show covering our troops in Iraq. Please stay tuned for more details.
Best,
Michael
~~~~~
Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas, Texas is a fairly famous institution for a variety of reasons:
1. John F. Kennedy died there in 1963
2. Lee Harvey Oswald died there shortly after
3. Jack Ruby-who killed Lee Harvey Oswald, died there a few years later..by coincidence
"On the flip side, Parkland is also home to the second busiest maternity ward in the country with almost 16,000 new babies arriving each year. (That's almost 44 per day---every day)
'"A recent patient survey indicated that 70 percent of the women who gave birth at Parkland in the first three months of 2006 were illegal immigrants.' That's 11,200 anchor babies born every year just in Dallas. According to the article, the hospital spent $70.7 million delivering 15,938 babies s in 2004 but managed to end up with almost $8 million dollars in surplus funding. Medicaid kicked in $34.5 million, Dallas County taxpayers kicked in $31.3 million and the feds tossed in another $9.5 million.
"'The average patient in Parkland's maternity wards is 25 years old, married and giving birth to her second child.' She is also an illegal immigrant. By law, pregnant women cannot be denied medical care based on their immigration status or ability to pay. OK, fine. That doesn't mean they should receive better care than everyday, middle-class American citizens. But at Parkland Hospital, they do.
"Parkland Memorial Hospital has nine prenatal clinics. NINE.
"The Dallas Morning News article followed a Hispanic woman who was a patient at one of the clinics and who is pregnant with her third child---her previous two were also born at Parkland. Her first two deliveries were free and the Mexican native was grateful because it would have cost $200 to have them in Mexico. This time, the hospital wants her to pay $10 per visit and $100 for the delivery but she was unsure if she could come up with the money. Not that it matters, the hospital won't turn her away. (I wonder why they even bother asking at this point.)
"How long has this been going on? What are the long-term affects?
"Well, another subject of the article was born at Parkland in 1986 shortly after her mother entered the U.S. illegally---now she is having her own child there as well. (That's right, she's technically a U.S. citizen.) These women receive free prenatal care including medication, nutrition, birthing classes and child care classes. They also get freebies such as car seats, bottles, diapers and formula.
"Most of these things are available to American citizens as well but only for low-income applicants and even then, the red tape involved is almost insurmountable.
"Because these women are illegal immigrants they do not have to provide any sort of legitimate identification---no proof of income. An American citizen would have to provide a social security number which would reveal their annual income---an illegal immigrant need only claim to be poor and the hospital must take them at their word.
"My husband is a pilot for the United States Navy (yes, he fought in Iraq) and while the health care is good, we Navy wives don't get any of these perks! "Car seats? Diapers? Not so much. "So my question is this: Does our public medical care system treat illegal immigrants better than American citizens? Yes, it does!
"As I mentioned, the care I have received is perfectly adequate but it's bare bones, meat and potato medical care---not top of line.
"Their (the illegals) medical care is free---simply because they are illegal immigrants? Once again, there is no way to verify their income.
"Parkland Hospital offers indigent care to Dallas County residents who earn less than $40,000 per year. (They also have to prove that they did not refuse health coverage at their current job Yeah, the 'free' care is not so easy for Americans.)
"There are about 140 patients who received roughly $4 million dollars for un-reimbursed medical care. As it turns out, they did not qualify for free treatment because they resided outside of Dallas County. So the hospital is going to sue them! Illegals get it all free! But U.S. citizens who live outside of Dallas County get sued! How stupid is that?
"As if that isn't annoying enough, the illegal immigrant patients are actually complaining about hospital staff not speaking Spanish. In this AP story, the author speaks with a woman who is upset that she had to translate comments from the hospital staff into Spanish for her husband. The doctor was trying to explain the situation to the family and the mother was forced to translate for her husband who only spoke Spanish. This was apparently a great injustice to her.
"In an attempt to create a Spanish-speaking staff, Parkland Hospital is now providing incentives in the form of extra pay for applicants who speak Spanish. Additionally, medical students at the University of Texas Southwestern for which Parkland Hospital is the training facility will now have a Spanish language requirement added to their already jammed-packed curriculum. No other school in the country boasts such a ridiculous multi-semester (multicultural) requirement.
"In the meantime, I have to end my column here. I have to go buy a car seat."
(Ed: Sorry for the length, but this needs wide circulation----particularly to our "employees" in the Congress)
Thanks to Jeanette Ford
~~~~~
One of our favorite investment advisors, Sean Hyman, is expanding out onto the web.
~
If any of you didn't get to hear my two latest podcasts on www.istockanalyst.com and would like to hear them again....they can be found on You Tube (www.youtube.com) by just putting my name - Sean Hyman in the You Tube search engine. Enjoy!
Also, I'll probably start managing money in the forex market through my automated trading system in the next 30 - 60 days.
My application to become a money manager has been filed and could be completed within the next few weeks.
Sean
~~~~~
Today, we’re flying to El Paso to visit Pat Antoon. More next week.
~~~~~
MapQuest Gas Prices, Pretty Cool http://gasprices.mapquest.com
~~~~~
If you’d like to write Dr. Antoon, he’d like to hear from you. This is his current address, the latest of the three federal prisons’ he’s been in.
Patrick Antoon #06669-010
Federal Prison Camp-La Tuna
P. O. Box 8000
Anthony, NM/TX 88021
~~~~~
Jimmy and Vanessa are working toward opening a new church in Covington on Labor Day
~
Hello, all,
We are having a great week. This past Monday, Jimmy went to the Louisiana District Council in Monroe and the boys and I went to see Mom and Dad in Arkansas. We left early Friday so we could go to the Barksdale Air Show with Dad. They have really stepped up the security there. They had a military dog search Dad's car, and they had mirrors to look under the car. When we got past the car search, we had to go through a security check like at the airport. We had to take everything out of our pockets. Then, there were some really impressive armed guards at the entrance. It was fun. My favorite airplane was the Horsefly. Josiah didn't get too interested until he saw the Thunderbirds. Then, he was just thrilled. When we got home to Mom's house, Josiah told Ethan, "Ethan, remember when we went to Arkansas and I saw the airplanes, and you were just a baby?"
We are really excited about launching our services in September. Right now we are focusing on establishing our team here and raising support. Jimmy has been working on a letter to send out about our ministry here. The team at Journey has helped him design a super cool letterhead and their proofreader helped him edit his letter. A copy of our letter is attached for you all.
As part of our mentorship with Journey Fellowship Church, all the members of our team are getting involved with their ministries. Our guys are working in computer graphic design, youth, children's church, and break-down/set-up team. One of our ladies is working with the youth and the office. And Beth and I are working with the nursery and children's church. We went to a nursery training tonight. They really have it together. Everywhere we turn, we notice the excellence here. I am so excited since I will begin working in the children's ministry next week. I can't wait. We are believing for the things we learn here at Journey to become part of us so we can really implement those ideas in the new church.
This morning, we had an impacting service. They sang my favorite song by Matt Redman, "Blessed Be The Name of The Lord." When I first heard the song, I didn't like it because it said, "You give and take away." And I thought, "God doesn't take things away." Then it was like God showed me that what it means is that He is just, and true, and holy, and whatever He gives and whatever He takes away, He is always right. And He always has my best interest at heart. I can trust Him no matter what. Then, this morning, Pastor Ken said that the sovereignty of God means that, "whatever God allows, He can." Well, I didn't like that either at first, but then Pastor Ken continued, "...and that's a good thing." We can trust Him, because He has never once done us wrong or failed us. I am so grateful we have such an awesome God. He is so worthy of our trust.
Tonight, while we were at the nursery training, Jimmy made gumbo. Josiah told him, "Thank you for making the Jumbo, Daddy."
I love you and God bless you,
Vanessa
~~~~~
The photos on the front of this week’s “Bleat” include shots of our April Fire Brigade Training at Brayton Fire Field
~~~~~
Don’t forget to check out www.mcc2000.net
~~~~~
We’ve now got several addresses on the web for "Da Bleat." For the latest issue, go to http://www.bugsbleat.blogspot.com
Our photos are posted at http://www.bugsbleatphotos.blogspot.com.
~~~~~
Feel free to share the "Bleat" with any and all. That's why we publish it.
~~~~~
Recipe(s) of the week - Diabetic Recipes From Food Network Kitchens
Sesame Green Beans
Kosher salt
1 pound green beans, trimmed
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons water
2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
1/2 teaspoon cornstarch
1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
3 medium shallots, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 teaspoons chopped fresh ginger
1 tablespoon sesame seeds
2 teaspoons rice wine vinegar
Bring a large pot of cold water to a boil over high heat and salt it generously. Add the beans, and cook, uncovered, until just tender, about 6 to 8 minutes. Drain and rinse under cold water, set aside.
Whisk the soy sauce, water, sesame oil, cornstarch, and pepper flakes in a small bowl.
Heat the vegetable oil over medium-high heat in a large nonstick skillet. Add the shallots, garlic, ginger, and sesame seeds and cook until the vegetables are golden, about 3 minutes. Stir in the green beans and soy sauce mixture, bring to a boil, and cook until the green beans glaze, about 1 minute. Sprinkle with the vinegar and serve immediately.
Copyright 2005 Television Food Network, G.P. All rights reserved.
Nutrition Information
Nutritional Analysis per serving Calories 111
Fat 6 grams Saturated Fat 1 gram
Carbohydrates 12 grams Fiber 4 grams
Protein 4 grams
~
Spice Rubbed Pork Tenderloin with Asian Cole Slaw From Food Network Kitchens
Pork:
2 pork tenderloins, each about 12 ounces, silver skin removed
1 tablespoon peanut oil
2 teaspoons Chinese five-spice powder
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
Cole Slaw:
1 1/2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoons soy sauce
1 1/2 teaspoons mirin
1 lime, juiced
1 1/2 teaspoons finely grated peeled fresh ginger
1 1/2 teaspoons peanut oil
1 1/2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
1/4 head Napa cabbage, (about 1/2 pound,) thinly sliced crosswise
1/2 large head radicchio, thinly sliced, (about 2 cups)
4 scallions (white and green parts), thinly sliced
1 orange or yellow bell pepper, stemmed, seeded, and thinly sliced
1 red apple, such as Macoun, Cortland, or Pink Lady
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Position a rack closest to the broiler and preheat to high.
Brush the tenderloins with the oil and rub all over with the five-spice powder. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Lay the pork on a broiler pan and, broil turning once, until golden, about 5 to 7 minutes per side. (An instant-read thermometer should register between 140 and 150 degrees F when inserted into the thickest part of the meat.) Set meat aside for at least for 5 minutes before slicing.
Meanwhile, whisk the vinegar with the soy sauce, mirin, lime juice, and ginger in a glass measuring cup. Gradually whisk in the peanut and sesame oils. Toss the cabbage, radicchio, scallions, and bell pepper in a large bowl with 1/4 cup of the vinaigrette. Grate the apple (with the skin but not the seeds) directly into the slaw, and toss again. Season, to taste, with salt and pepper.
Slice the pork and divide among 4 plates. Garnish with some of the slaw and drizzle with remaining vinaigrette. Serve.
Copyright 2005 Television Food Network, G.P. All rights reserved.
Nutrition Information
Nutritional Analysis per serving Calories 329
Fat 13 grams Saturated Fat 3 grams
Carbohydrates 15 grams Fiber 3 grams
Protein 38 grams
~
Roasted Potato Skins with Horseradish Cream From Food Network Kitchens
3 large russet potatoes, scrubbed and dried, about 1 1/2 pounds
Olive oil spray
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup low-fat cottage cheese
2 tablespoons light sour cream
2 tablespoons prepared horseradish
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.
Cut each potato, lengthwise, into 8 wedges. Trim all but 1/4-inch of the potato flesh with a paring knife. Lay the skins on a baking sheet, skin side down , and spray the flesh side with the olive oil spray. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Roast until golden and crispy, about 35 minutes.
Meanwhile, puree the cottage cheese, sour cream, and horseradish in a blender. Transfer to a small serving bowl and season with salt and pepper, to taste. Sprinkle chives on top.
Put hot potato wedges on a platter with the bowl of horseradish cream. Serve.
Nutrition Information
Nutritional Analysis per serving Calories 114
Fat 3 grams Saturated Fat 0.5 grams
Carbohydrates 16 grams Fiber 3 grams
Protein 7 grams
Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 35 minutes
Yield: 4 servings
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/lf_hl_diabetic_recipe/0,2857,FOOD_26656,00.html
~~~~~
BreakPoint
With Chuck Colson
Through the Back Door
5/4/2007
Doctors Turn Against Abortion
Most of you know that the Supreme Court recently handed the pro-life cause an important victory by upholding a ban on partial-birth abortion. The Court may have banned only one method of abortion, but now we have hope that perhaps there will be additional legal restrictions on abortion in the future.
But we must remember that there are other fronts in the battle for human life besides the law. One front is the hearts and minds of those who would perform abortions: that is, doctors.
As the BBC recently reported, “The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists says there has been a big rise in the number of doctors who are ‘conscientious objectors.’” In other words, doctors in the UK just do not want to do abortions any more. In fact, the number of willing abortionists is dropping so rapidly that pro-choicers are complaining of an “abortion crisis.”
Analysts offer various explanations. Katherine Guthrie of the Royal College suggests, “You get no thanks for performing abortions. You get spat on. Who admits to friends at a dinner party that they are an abortionist?” But we have good reason to believe that the reasons go even deeper than that. James Gerrard, a general practitioner in Leeds, says, “Out of the six doctors in our practice, three of us object to abortion. I had made up my mind on abortion before entering the medical profession. I feel the fetus is a person and killing that fetus is wrong.”
So it’s not just about being ostracized. It is an “unprecedented moral revolt,” according to This Is London. Guthrie says, “The Department of Health is really worried.” Ann Furedi of the British Pregnancy Advisory Service explains why: “Within five to seven years, a woman’s ability to get an abortion will be more shaped by the service’s ability to provide them rather than the state of the law.”
Isn’t this remarkable? The very group that has the most to gain from abortions is turning away from them. They know better than anyone else exactly what an abortion is—and they want nothing to do with it. And because they are the ones most directly involved, they are having even more impact than the government could ever dream of having.
As I have said many times on “BreakPoint,” Christians must be engaged in politics and government. But as we labor in the political arena, we have to work in the culture to change hearts and minds and to promote an understanding of the sanctity of life.
Maybe you remember the scene from Amazing Grace, that marvelous movie about William Wilberforce, in which Wilberforce and his friends come up with fresh new strategies for getting rid of the slave trade. Instead of working directly to outlaw it, which was getting them nowhere, they did an end run around their opponents, finding a way to put financial pressure on the owners of the slave ships—and the trade started to dry up. When the front door would not open to them, they sneaked through the back door—and they got results.
It’s as simple now as it was then: If doctors will not do abortions, that trade, also, will dry up. A back door is opening for us, and pro-lifers need to make sure we take advantage of it, by supporting those physicians who make the right choice.
And you can help by talking to your own physician about this. Nothing less than life is on the line. And if the British doctors are changing their minds, certainly it can happen here.
“That They May Have Life”—an Evangelicals and Catholics Together statement on the sanctity of human life.
For Further Reading and Information
“More Young Doctors Oppose Abortions on Ethical Grounds,” This Is London, 16 April 2007.
“Abortions ‘Crisis’ Threatens NHS,” BBC News, 16 April 2007.
Hilary White, “UK Doctors Refusing to Commit Abortion Alarm Royal College,” LifeSite, 16 April 2007.
BreakPoint Commentary No. 070420, “A Baby’s Cry: Upholding the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act.”
Vanessa, “The Abortion ‘Crisis’ in the U.K.,” Feministing.com blog, 16 April 2007.
William Saletan, “Window to the Womb,” Washington Post, 29 April 2007, B02.
“House OKs Bill Requiring Waiting Time, Ultrasound before Abortions,” Gainesville Sun, 28 April 2007.
The BreakPoint Web site and BreakPoint WorldView Magazine feature Colson’s commentaries as well as feature articles by other established and up-and-coming writers to equip readers with a biblical perspective on a variety of issues and topics.
© 2004-2006 Prison Fellowship
~~~~~
Words of the Week:
ukase: an edict.
indigence: extreme poverty.
supplant: to take the place of.
credulous: inclined to believe too readily.
termagant: a scolding, nagging, bad-tempered woman.
pantheon: the collective gods of a people; also, a group of highly esteemed persons.
redound: to have a consequence or effect.
from Dictionary.Com
~~~~~
"People do not lack strength, they lack will." - Victor Hugo
"Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task." - William James
"The secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life, and in elevating them to art." - William Morris
"True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one's self, but the point is not only to get out, you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand." - Henry James
"Indifference, to me, is the epitome of evil." - Elie Wiesel
"If you let other people do it for you, they will do it to you." - Robert Anthony
"Self-respect is the root of discipline: the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself." - Abraham Joshua Heschel
~~~~~
BREAKING CHRISTIAN NEWS
http://breakingchristiannews.com/
# Christian Artists and Habitat for Humanity Put Faith into Action during GMA Week in Nashville
# President Bush Receives Resoundingly Warm Reception in Ohio
# Christian Party in Scotland Has Support of Christians and Non-Christians Alike With Christianity at Center of its Agenda
# In Turnabout, Tour Guides Now Instructed to Include Importance of the Great Commission by Jamestown Settlers
# Baghdad "Prayer Patrol" aims to provide spiritual support to US troops in Iraq
# Bobby Welch Shares Story and Faith with Wounded Soldiers
# Two Clashing Nations Are Finding Reconciliation in Christ
# How Anzacs helped to liberate the Holy Land
# America's Youth to Unite in Prayer at "Student Reunion" on May 2nd
# New Mexico Allows Baptisms after Lawsuit Threat
# Disabled Sports "Sensation" Pursuing 2008 Olympic Dream
# A Life without Limbs Doesn’t Stop Nick Vujicic from Living, Loving and Praising God
# Prayer & Action Alert: Two Bills U.S. Christians should be Aware Of
# Tony Snow Says Cancer Has Brought Him Closer to God
# Sesame Street to Teach Children in Israel to Respect Each Other
# BCN Correction
# Important Alert for Listeners of Internet Radio
# Taking Action for the Course of Purity
# Betrayal and Forgiveness: the Extraordinary Story of Kathi Winter
# The Salvation Saloon Brings together Outcasts to Worship God
# Famous Atheist's Son Joins Other Christian Leaders on Steps of U.S. Supreme Court for National Day of Prayer
# Baghdad Prayer Patrol Releases Special Plea for American Soldiers on National Day of Prayer
# Remarks by President Bush on the National Day of Prayer
# Peoplepray.Com® Launches Blog on National Day of Prayer
# Tennessee Government Recognizes Lou Engle and TheCall Nashville
# Bush's Pledge to Veto Hate Crimes Bill Applauded by Dr. James Dobson
# Queen Elizabeth's Visit to Virginia
# Resolution Honoring William Wilberforce Passes House
Breaking Christian News
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GCF: Doctor's Order
Emailed to me a friend (Thanks, Connie) -Tom
If this was forwarded to you, please consider your own subscription to Good Clean Fun. It's free! A smile will enhance the quality of your life. SUBSCRIBE and UNSUBSCRIBE INFO for Good Clean Fun is at the end of this email. This email was scanned by Norton AntiVirus before it was sent.
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A guy says to the bartender, "A glass of your finest Less, please."
"Less? Never heard of it."
"C'mon, sure you have."
"No, really, we don't stock it. What is it? Some kind of foreign beer?"
"I'm not sure. It was my doctor who mentioned it. He said I should drink Less."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: 95th Birthday
Emailed to me from another humor list (Clean Laffs) -Tom
Subscribe to Clean Laffs at the website:
Subscribe
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"Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!"
He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?"
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Not Feeling Well
Emailed to me a friend (Thanks, Andrew) -Tom
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A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "My goodness, doc, exactly what's my problem?"
Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: Young Writer
Emailed to me a friend (Thanks, Don) -Tom
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A 3-year-old was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied, "I can't read."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: What Took You So Long?
Emailed to me a friend (Thanks, Julie) -Tom
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The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.
"What took you so long, son?" he asked.
"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."
"How?"
"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be a mighty noisy place at eight o'clock."
_ ____________________________ _
GCF: At the Movies
Emailed to me from another humor list (Marty's Joke of the Day) -
Tom
To subscribe to Marty's Joke of the Day, send a blank email to:
martysjotd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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While watching a movie recently, I couldn't hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women sitting in front of me. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder.
"Excuse me," I said, "I can't hear."
"I should hope not," she replied sharply. "This is a private conversation."
_ ___________________________ _
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Hard work doesn't harm anyone, \ /
\ _/ but I don't want to take chances. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / I was married by a judge. \ /
\ _/ I should have asked for a jury. \_ /
/ / ---George Burns \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / You can always identify \ /
\ _/ an intelligent person. \_ /
/ / Their view is the same as yours. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / It doesn't matter \ /
\ _/ if you win or lose, \_ /
/ / until you lose. \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Cross country skiing is great \ /
\ _/ if you live in a small country. \_ /
/ / \ \
(((\ \>|_/ )_____________________( \_| \\\\ \_/ / \ \_/ ////
\ / Managing programmers \ /
\ _/ is like herding cats. \_ /
/ / \ \
_ ____________________________ _
| Thomas S. Ellsworth |
| tellswor@slonet.org |
| http://www.slonet.org/~tellswor |
|___________________________|
Stop for a visit, leave with a smile! To join Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-subscribe@yahoogroups.Com To leave Good Clean Fun, email: good-clean-fun-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.Com Or visit the Good Clean Fun web site at http://www. slonet.org/~tellswor/
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"Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking man.
"Why should I excuse you?" asked the judge.
"You see, I owe a man fifty dollars, and he's leaving in a few hours for a post abroad. He'll be there for years and I want to catch him before he leaves, for it may be my last chance to repay him."
"Excused," stated the judge coldly. "We don't want anyone on the jury who can lie like that."
Received from Thomas S. Ellsworth.
(-:][:-)
Students at a school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.
One 11-year-old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night, it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."
Received from Steve Sanderson.
(-:][:-)
A clergyman, walking down a country lane, saw a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look tired, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't approve."
"Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset.
Losing his patience just a little, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "you can tell him whatever you like just as soon as I get this hay off him."
Received from Pastor Tim.
(-:][:-)
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed, and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
Received from Mary Rayner.
(-:][:-)
Two friends met in the street. One man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?"
The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars."
"I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?"
"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear."
"Well, you can't be disappointed with that!"
"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars."
"Incredible! So how come you look so glum?"
"Well, this week ... nothing!"
Received from Pastor Tim.
(-:][:-)
-=+=-
Rate this funny at http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
Brought to you by GCFL.net: The Good, Clean Funnies List A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22a) Mail address: GCFL, Box 100, Harvest, AL 35749, USA
To print or email this funny to others, go to http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20060113
The latest GCFL funny can always be found on the web at http://www.gcfl.net/latest.php
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Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. -- Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table. So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only one check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
P.S. I just remembered. I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING
Thanks to Waneta
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Ever mindful of the congregation, the Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog and they knew that the dog also had to be a Baptist.
They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted.
The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife.
"Fetch the Bible," he commanded.
The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner.
"Now find Psalm 23," he commanded.
The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw.
The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog. That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses...The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?"
"I haven't tried yet" the pastor replied.
He pointed his finger at the dog. "HEEL," the pastor commanded.
The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good Lord! He's Pentecostal!"
Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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Christian One Liners
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
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Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
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It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
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When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
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People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
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Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
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If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
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God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
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Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
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Peace starts with a smile.
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I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
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A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
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We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
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Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
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Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
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Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
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Forbidden fruits create many jams.
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God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
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God grades on the cross, not the curve.
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God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
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He who angers you, controls you!
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If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
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Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
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The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
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The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
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We don't change the message, the message changes us.
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You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
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The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
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Thanks to Donovan Modest
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Where would you be:
If - you had all the money your heart desires?
If - you had no worries?
If - you came home and the finest meal is awaiting you?
If - your bathwater had been run?
If - you had the perfect kids?
If - your love was awaiting you, with open arms and kisses?
So, where would you be?
Hellooooo!!!!!!!!!
You'd be in the wrong house!
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"Don't strive for recognition, but work for achievement." -- Vanessa Malone
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Madeleine Begun Kane Latest Columns - - http://www.madkane.com/guiltsprings.html - - GUILT SPRINGS ETERNAL
Spring has arrived. Do you feel guilty yet? If not, you apparently don't read women's magazines. Every March and April they're packed with "clean up and organize your life" articles. Stories with catchy titles like Spring Into Action -- Tidy Up Your House. Or Wash Away Winter Blues. Or Banish Clutter Now; Otherwise We'll Keep Torturing You With Articles Meant to Make you Feel Like A Slothful Bum. Personally, I'd rather read Why Clean? It Will Only Get Dirty Again Tomorrow.
Why do magazines publish these pieces? Because every spring millions of women have the same Pavlovian response: Guilt. Guilt quickly followed by a spending spree on periodicals and cleaning supplies. They grab every magazine in sight and, in a fit of post-New Year's resolution fervor, vow to Martha Stewartize their homes.
Do these articles help? Do they unlock the sacred secret of "eat off your basement floor" womanhood? Hahahahahahaha. Pardon me -- I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were serious.
The stories all share one fatal flaw ... aside from the fact that they relate to housework. The problem is (pause for drum roll) they are all the same article.
It's hard to believe, but true. While humor writers are expected to vary their humor at least slightly from piece to piece, authors specializing in the spring cleaning genre recycle the same 100 or so tips year after year after year. In fact, the "get your act together you slob" piece that you devoured while waiting for the supermarket patron in front of you to finish picking lint off $79.77 in pennies, dates all the way back to prehistoric times.
Just a month ago archaeologists, who were excavating a cave in southern France, discovered a minute remnant of what they believe to be the world's first spring cleaning piece. The few words they managed to unearth are as vital today as they were way back in the Mesozoic Era: "Hose down dinosaur dung." In fact, those exact words appeared in several magazines sold this very year. Sadly, though, the original author had a lousy lawyer and never got a nickel in royalties.
Moreover, Biblical historians are convinced that the Old Testament contained at least two chapters filled with spring cleaning counsel. Alas, only a small fragment remains: "Slaughter Red Sea stains with..." If only we knew what came next.
Throughout the years women have dominated the spring cleaning literature, and men didn't stand a chance of breaking in. In fact Shakespeare is said to have never recovered from the rejection of his "To Clean or Not To Clean. That is the Question."
While Shakespeare was forced to explore other writing avenues, women's writing has always bloomed with the cleaning rites of spring. Who can forget Louisa May Alcott's charming novel which begins "Springtime won't be springtime without cleaning supplies." Or Dorothy Parker's "Men rarely make whoopee with girls who look goopy."
Speaking of men, just once I'd like to see a spring cleaning piece in a men's magazine. Until I do, I refuse to let a magazine article induce me to scrub, mop, or sweep. And if I ever have the impulse to clean my house, I'll go to my book shelves and study the classics. In fact, I'm going to do just that ... just as soon as I finish dusting my books.
http://www.madkane.com
http://www.madkane.com/notable.html (Notables Weblog)
http://www.madkane.com/bush.html (Dubya's Dayly Diary)
Subscribe to MadKane Humor Newsletter (weekly) here:
http://www.madkane.com/email.html
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THE GINGHAM DRESS
A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office.
The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard & probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge.
"We'd like to see the president," the man said softly.
"He'll be busy all day," the secretary snapped.
"We'll wait," the lady replied.
For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away.
They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted.
"Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave," she said to him!
He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.
The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple.
The lady told him, "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus."
The president wasn't touched. He was shocked.
"Madam," he said, gruffly, "we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery."
"Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."
The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now.
The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it cost to start a university? Why don't we just start our own? "
Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.
Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.
You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them. ----
A TRUE STORY By Malcolm Forbes
Thanks to Jeanette Ford
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| Safety from the Heart |
-----------------------------------------------------
May 2, 2007
Call 811 before you dig
Effective April 13, you can call 81l before you dig to prevent damage to underground utility lines.
The new 811 number is a national "Call Before You Dig" phone number designated by the FCC to eliminate the confusion of multiple "Call Before You Dig" numbers and help save lives by minimizing damages to underground utilities.
"People digging often make risky assumptions about whether or not they should get their utility lines marked due to concerns about project delays, costs and previous calls about other projects. These assumptions can be life-threatening," said Glyn Smith, executive director of PUPS.
"Every digging job requires a call – even small projects like planting trees or shrubs. If you hit an underground utility line while digging, you can harm yourself or those around you, disrupt service to an entire neighborhood and potentially be responsible for fines and repair costs," said Smith.
"The service is free," he added.
When you call 811 from anywhere in South Carolina, your call will be routed to PUPS, the local One Call Center for South Carolina. PUPS then contacts member utilities to mark the lines before work begins. PUPS does not locate the lines.
For more information, contact PUPS at 1-888-721-7877 or in Columbia at 939-1117 or on the Web site at www.sc1pups.org.
...............................................................................
CGA launches national 811 "Call Before You Dig" number and Web site to help save lives and protect American underground infrastructure
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Common Ground Alliance (CGA) today announced the launch of a new national 811 "Call Before You Dig" Web site – www.call811.com – designed to serve as a national resource for professional excavators. The new Web site is being launched this week to educate industry audiences about the new 811 "Call Before You Dig" telephone number. The national number will be launched to the public in May of 2007.
"Knowing where utility lines are buried before each digging project helps protect those who dig from injury, expense and penalties," said CGA President Bob Kipp. "Our new Web site will provide the professional digging community with the tools they need to begin educating their employees and customers about the new national 811 number to launch later this year. One easy phone call to 811 will get the approximate location of underground utility lines marked for free," he continued. "Safe Digging Is No Accident: Always Call 811 Before You Dig."
811 is the new FCC-designated national N-11 number created to eliminate confusion of multiple "Call Before You Dig" numbers across the country. This quick and efficient service connects callers with local One Call Centers who notify the appropriate local utilities, who then send crews to the requested site to mark the approximate location of underground lines for free.
Knowing where underground lines are buried before each digging project helps prevent injury, expense and penalties. In 2004, according to industry data, CGA estimates there were approximately 680,000 underground line strikes resulting in damages, including service outages and injury. Many of these accidents might have easily been avoided by calling ahead to have lines marked before digging. A recent national survey conducted for CGA shows that confusion exists among the public as to the necessity of calling before every dig job. In the survey, only 35% of homeowners indicated they—or someone in their house—have called to have their utility lines marked in the past.
The Web site, www.Call811.com, launched this week with several resources designed to help professional excavators learn about the new number and educate consumers about the national "Call Before You Dig" service. On the site, CGA has made a fully downloadable set of campaign materials available for free use, and created an online "tips and tools" forum to share best practices across the digging industry. For more information about the 811 service and campaign, visit www.call811.com.
CGA is a member-driven association of nearly 1,400 individuals, organizations and sponsors in every facet of the underground utility industry. Established in 2000, CGA is committed to saving lives and preventing damage to American underground infrastructure by promoting effective damage prevention practices. CGA has established itself as the leading organization in an effort to reduce damages to underground facilities in North America through shared responsibility among all stakeholders. For more information, visit CGA on the web at www.commongroundalliance.com.
_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
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May 1, 2007
Running Red Lights
Today's Message is from Tom Lewellyn (a Pasadena Albemarle employee).
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On Tuesday morning, April 24th, while driving into work I witnessed someone run a red light at the intersection of South Street and the feeder. Most of you are familiar with this set up. You sit at the first light, it changes to green and you proceed to the second light that usually turns green just before you get to it. Sometimes you don't even have to slow down for this second green light. This was the case this morning. As I and several other drivers approached the second light that had changed, an individual was pushing his very cold yellow light at ~ 60 mph coming down the feeder. This was someone in an enormous hurry. This could have been disastrous.
There was no collision.
This time.
I have made it a habit and I hope you make it yours to slow down and look the other way even though you have been given the green. Don't let lights and signs mislead you. There may be someone else out there ignoring all of them.
_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
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April 30, 2007
Today's Message is from Todd Dubose (a Houston Albemarle employee).
Home Electrical Safety Brief
BACKGROUND
A review of electrical home mishaps shows a variety of factors are involved in the typical mishap. Identifying electrical hazards such as improper misuse of polarized plugs, three-pronged or three-pronged outlet adapters, worn cords and plugs, replacing fuses, rugs placed over extension cords, overloaded outlets and extension cords, appliances used around water or other objects around power lines is the first step for risk assessment and risk management process.
EXAMPLES
The following examples are typical electrical home mishap reports received:
AT1 was working on household electrical wiring when he received an electrical shock. He fell from the ladder and sustained a fatal head injury.
LT was working on a boat pier behind his home using a pair of pliers. He was standing in the water when his pliers came into contact with an energized electrical circuit. He was electrocuted. Service member was sitting in a chair flying a kite. The wind suddenly shifted direction and the kite string drifted over the power lines. He does not remember the kite string striking the power lines. Service member suffered electrical burns to hand, both feet and his shoulder.
RECOMMENDATIONS
Assessing the risks along with making risk decisions and implementing controls to eliminate electrical home mishaps are as follows:
Install ground fault circuit interrupters (GFCIs) in basement, kitchens and bathroom circuits.
Stand on a dry surface when replacing fuses.
Never operate an electrical appliance while touching a metal object, standing on a wet surface or taking a bath.
Always unplug appliances before cleaning, removing parts and when not in use.
Check electrical cords and extension cords regularly for signs of damage.
Use an non-conductive ladder such as fiber glass or wood when working on electrical systems or near power lines.
Use only UL approved appliances. Never cut off the ground plug.
Avoid flying kites near power lines or during wet weather conditions.
Never place an extension cord under a rug or in heavy traffic areas.
_________________________________
| Safety from the Heart |
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April 24, 2007
In Case of Emergency Phone Numbers
Peter Daudey, Albemarle Amsterdam employee
"In Case of Emergency" phone number in my/your mobile phone list under the entry ICE. I thought this might be a good idea for all Albemarle employees. I also suggested it to the Amsterdam site. The Wikipedia link shows the history of the ICE initiative.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_case_of_emergency
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Our Church, Magnolia Christian Center, has the following mission statement. Our purpose is to build a great church for the glory of God through the great commission and the great commandment. MCC' Vision - That MCC will be a place hopping with children, energized with teenagers, balanced with diversity and transformed by the power of God! We want to turn uninterested people into interested people and win the lost to make fully devoted followers of Christ. www.mcc2000.net
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TOURBUS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:) - :)- :)
Tourbus Home -- http://www.InternetTourbus.com
+---------------------------------------+
TODAY'S TOURBUS TOPICS: OpenCourseWare / Screencasts
Howdy, y'all, and greetings once again from deep behind the orange curtain in beautiful Irvine, California, where western sky meets western sea, our college stands in majesty. In what could be the biggest mistake in its 127 year history, the University of Southern California has accepted me into their higher education administration doctorate program. That's right: I are a college student. :P
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MIT OpenCourseWare / OpenCourseWare Search
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Talking about higher education, I have been a fan of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology's OpenCourseWare project for quite some time. Back in April of 2001, MIT announced the ground-breaking, ambitious, and some would say unrealistic 10-year goal of posting the materials for all of MIT's courses online. Syllabi. Course calendars. Lecture notes. Assignments. Exams. Everything. Available to the entire online world. No charge.
You can find MIT's OpenCourseWare site at
http://ocw.mit.edu/index.html
Five years and 1,800 courses later, I'm still a fan. As are several other institutions of higher learning that have followed MIT's lead, now posting their own course materials online:
http://www.ocwconsortium.org/use/index.html
In fact, there are now so many free, online courses out there that finding the right course for you can involve a bit of cybersleuthing. Or you could just go to the OpenCourseWare finder at
http://opencontent.org/ocwfinder/
If you've used the advanced features inside of Apple's iTunes music store, you already know how to use the OpenCourseWare finder. And if you've never used iTunes, well ... the OpenCourseWare finder is just like the advanced features inside of Apple's iTunes music store. :)
Seriously, though, just choose and subtopic in the tag browser and the OpenCourseWare finder shows you, at the bottom of the page, a list of OpenCourseWare courses that discuss that particular topic. Click on the course's title to be taken to the course's homepage.
The OpenCourseWare finder doesn't search through all of the world's free, online courses, but it does include courses from
* Carnegie Mellon University
* Foothill De-Anza Community College
* Johns Hopkins School of Public Health
* Tufts University
* MIT
* Utah State University
So, does this mean you can now get a free, online degree from MIT? Not on your life, Chester! While educators are encouraged to borrow MIT's course materials for their own curricula, and while everyone in the world is encouraged to use the OpenCourseWare materials for self- study, MIT has absolutely no plans to offer credit for the online versions of their courses.
Besides, what makes MIT MIT isn't its course documents. As I have said many times in the past, covalent bonding works the same in Cambridge as it does in Irvine [the home of the Scottish Parliament at Holyrood], and the second derivative of 2x squared is the same along the banks of the Charles River as it is at the confluence of the 5 and 405 freeways. What makes MIT MIT -- and what makes MIT worth $33K a year -- isn't its course documents. It's its faculty. And that you can't put online.
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Two Screencasts
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I need your help. I created two screencasts, one with TechSmith Camtasia and one with Adobe Captivate. If you have a free moment, can you please take a look at both and tell me which one you prefer? You can ignore the content; I'm more interested in knowing which video you think is more usable/accessible. Thanks in advance.
Camtasia screencast
http://tinyurl.com/2pohb5
Captivate screencast
http://tinyurl.com/2dzoyq
+---------------------------------------+
Have a safe and happy week, and we'll talk again soon.
+---------------------------------------+
==[ Tourbus Rider Information ]==
The Internet Tourbus - U.S. Library of Congress ISSN #1094-2238 Copyright 1995-2005, Rankin & Crispen - All rights reserved Tourbus News Service - http://tourbus.com/news.html Subscribe, Signoff, Archives, Free Stuff and More at the Tourbus Website - http://www.TOURBUS.com
========================
.~~~. ))
(\__/) .' ) )) Patrick Douglas Crispen
/o o \/ .~
{o_, \ { crispen@netsquirrel.com
/ , , ) \ http://www.netsquirrel.com/
`~ -' \ } )) AOL Instant Messenger: Squirrel2K
_( ( )_.'
---..{____} Warning: squirrels.
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Activities and Events of Interest
~~~
19th Annual Magnolia Blossom Festival & World Championship Steak Cook-Off
May 18 - May 19, 2007
~~~
The Emancipation Proclamation will be on display at the Clinton Library September 22-25, 2007.
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"September 11 WDYTJWD" W. P. Florence
Justice first, then peace."
"September 11" Never forget.--Tony Moses
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD ...the only way"--Phillip Story
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"Keeping my head down but face toward Heaven" - - Jody Eldred, ABC News Cameraman in Kuwait
"Remember Pearl Harbor? Remember 9/11!" --"Bug"
Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. - - George Carlin
"Stop telling God how big your storm is. Instead, tell the storm how big your God is!" - - Queen E. Watson
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Weekly Toll - - http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/
Death In The Workplace w/News & Updates
John Donne - ...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
A partial list of workplace fatalities.
Worker Electrocuted In Gladewater Accident
TX - An East Texas man is dead after apparently being electrocuted at a Gladewater business. Emergency crews were called out just before noon on Thursday at Texas Die Casting incorporated. Investigators say Estevan Castillo, 50, of Gladewater apparently came in contact with a power source while working at the plant.
Worker Killed in Industrial Accident
Columbus, MS - An Arkansas man died Wednesday from injuries he suffered when he was struck by a 12-inch pipe while working at a SeverCorr steel mill site in Mississippi.
Worker dies at Bangor submarine base
BANGOR, Wash. -- A worker was killed today in an accident at the Bangor submarinebase, according to the U.S. Department of Labor. The Kitsap County coroner's office identified the victim as 23-year-old Brent Larwick of Brush Prairie. Larwick is believed to have been electrocuted.
Construction Worker Killed in Freak Accident
PA - A gruesome construction accident has left a man dead in Wynnewood. The worker was an employee of a construction company that works with Aqua Pennsylvania. The crew has been fixing water mains in the neighborhood for about a month. Investigators believe the worker, who was on the back of a truck operating a cable retriever, somehow got a piece of clothing snagged on equipment. The worker became entangled in the cable. He was crushed to death.
Carwash employee arrested after manager’s death
COSTA MESA, CA — The carwash employee responsible for crushing his boss to death while moving vehicles at the Classic Hand Car Wash is in police custody now,
Worker dies in Hill Country cave
SAN ANTONIO, TX -- A worker at a Hill Country cave that serves as a Kendall County tourist attraction has been found dead in the cave.
Farmer's tragic death leaves community "numb"
CHARLOTTE - Duane Tirrell is dead. The 53-year-old Charlotte-area farmer was killed Monday afternoon when the John Deere tractor he was driving north on Cochran Road was struck by a semi-tanker, heading in the same direction. His tractor flipped and fell apart.
MTA Worker Killed Not Authorized To Be On Track, Sources Say Workers Used Short Cut Without Permission
BROOKLYN, NY - A subway accident in Brooklyn that killed a transit worker while on-duty was apparently caused because the worker (Daniel Boggs) was taking an unauthorized short cut with another worker who survived the accident, sources tell CBS 2.
Tow Truck Driver Killed Outside Vehicle On I-270
32-year-old Aaron Helfrich of Festus was working near his tow truck on the side of Interstate 270 near Manchester when he was struck and killed.
Barge worker dies at Ship Channel
Houston,TX - A 28-year-old barge worker died at the Ship Channel Friday night after a crane operator lost control and a bundle of pipe struck the man, knocking him into the water. Officials do not know if he died from the impact or drowned.
http://weeklytoll.blogspot.com/2007/04/weekly-toll-death-in-american-workplace.html
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NEVER FORGET! We're listing the names of our soldiers killed weekly. These records can be found at http://www.defenselink. mil/releases/
01. Lance Cpl. Adam E. Loggins, 27, of Athens, Ala., died April 26 from wounds sustained while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 3rd Battalion,6th Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
02. Staff Sgt. Michael D. Thomas, 34, of Seffner, Fla., died Apr. 27 in Hirat Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using rocket propelled grenades and small arms fire. Thomas was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group, Fort Bragg, N.C.
03. Spc. Daniel F. Mehringer, 20, of Morgantown, W.Va., died Apr. 27 in Bagram, Afghanistan, of injuries suffered from a non-combat related incident. His death is under investigation.
04. The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. Sgt. Peter Woodall, 25, of Sarasota, Fla. Woodall died April 27 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 8th Engineer Support Battalion, 2nd Marine Logistics Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
05. Pfc. Nicholas E. Riehl, 21, of Shiocton, Wis., died Apr. 27 in Fallujah, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit during combat patrol. He was assigned to the 5th Squadron, 7th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.
06. The Department of Defense announced the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. Cpl. Christopher Degiovine, 25, of Lone Tree, Colo. Degiovine died April 26 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Assault Amphibian Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
07. Cpl. Jeremy R. Greene, 24, of Springfield, Ohio, died Apr. 28 at Forward Operating Base Tillman, Afghanistan, due to injuries suffered from a non-combat related incident. His death is under investigation.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Apr. 27 in Fallujah, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle during combat operations. They were assigned to the 3rd Brigade Support Battalion, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, Ga.
Killed were:
08. Spc. Eddie D. Tamez, 21, of Galveston, Texas.
09. Pfc. David A. Kirkpatrick, 20, of Upland, Ind.
10. Sgt. William J. Callahan, 28, of South Easton, Mass., died April 27 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Callahan was assigned to 8th Engineer Support Battalion, 2nd Marine Logistics Group, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
11. Sgt. Michael R. Hullender, 29, of Little Falls, N.J., died Apr. 28 in Iskandariyah, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit during combat patrol operations. Hullender was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 501st Airborne Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska.
12. 1st Lt. Travis L. Manion, 26, of Doylestown, Pa., died April 29 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Manion was assigned to 1st Reconnaissance Battalion, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Pendleton, Calif.
The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Apr. 29 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their unit during combat operations. Killed were:
13. Staff Sgt. Jay E. Martin, 29, of Baltimore.
14. Sgt. Alexander J. Funcheon, 21, of Bel Aire, Kan.
15. Pfc. Brian A. Botello, 19, of Alta, Iowa.
They were assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 61st Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Carson, Colo.
16. Sgt. Norman L. Tollett, 30, of Columbus, Ohio, died Apr. 28, in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire during combat patrol operations. Tollett was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.
The Department of Defense announced the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Apr. 28 in Salman Pak, Iraq, of wounds suffered when their vehicle was struck with an improvised explosive device and small arms fire during combat operations. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Benning, Ga. Killed were:
17. Sgt. Glenn D. Hicks Jr., 24, of College Station, Texas.
18. Pfc. Jay-D H. Ornsby-Adkins, 21, of Ione, Calif.
19. Pvt. Cole E. Spencer, 21, of Gays, Ill.
20. Pfc. Katie M. Soenksen, 19, of Davenport, Iowa, died May 2 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near her vehicle. She was assigned to the 410th Military Police Company, 720th Military Police Battalion, 89th Military Police Brigade, Fort Hood, Texas.
The Department of Defense announced the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died May 2 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when their vehicle struck an improvised explosive device. They were assigned to the 4th Brigade Special Troops Battalion, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Fort Riley, Kan. Killed were:
21. 1st Lt. Ryan P. Jones, 23, of Massachusetts.
22. Spc. Astor A. Sunsin Pineda, 20, of Long Beach, Calif.
23. 1st Lt. Colby J. Umbrell, 26, of Doylestown, Pa., died May 3 in Musayyib, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska.
24. Pfc. Joseph G. Harris, 19, of Sugar Land, Texas, died May 3 at Forward Operating Base Warrior, Afghanistan. His death is under investigation.
25. Lance Cpl. Johnathan E. Kirk, 25, of Belhaven, N.C., died May 1 from wounds received while conducting combat operations on April 23 in Al Anbar province, Iraq. Kirk was assigned to 2nd Combat Engineer Battalion, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
26. Spc. Matthew T. Bolar, 24, of Montgomery, Ala., died May 3 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his unit during combat operations. Bolar was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Fort Richardson, Alaska.
27. Spc. Andrew R. Weiss, 28, of Lafayette, Ind., died May 3 in Baghdad, Iraq, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Weiss was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 5th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.
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Soldier Missing in Action from the Korean War is Identified
The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of a U.S. serviceman, missing in action from the Korean War, have been identified and will be returned to his family for burial with full military honors.
He is Cpl. Pastor Balanon Jr., U.S. Army, of San Francisco, Calif. He will be buried May 3 in Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C.
Representatives from the Army met with Balanon’s next-of-kin to explain the recovery and identification process and to coordinate interment with military honors on behalf of the secretary of the Army.
In late October 1950, Balanon was assigned to L Company, 3rd Battalion, 8th Calvary Regiment, then engaging enemy forces south of Unsan, North Korea, near a bend in the Kuryong River known as the Camel’s Head. Chinese communist forces attacked the 8th Regiment’s positions on Nov. 1, 1950, forcing a withdrawal to the south where they were surrounded by the enemy. The remaining survivors in the 3rd Battalion attempted to escape a few days later, but Balanon was declared missing in action on Nov. 2, 1950, in the vicinity of Unsan County.
In 2001, a joint U.S.-North Korean team, led by the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command (JPAC), excavated a burial site in Kujang County, south of Unsan County. A North Korean citizen living near the site told the team that the remains were relocated to Kujang after they were discovered elsewhere during a construction project. The battle area was about one kilometer north of the secondary burial site.
Among other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from the JPAC and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used mitochondrial DNA and dental comparisons in Balanon’s identification.
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Five Missing WWII Airmen are Identified
The Department of Defense POW/Missing Personnel Office (DPMO) announced today that the remains of five U.S. servicemen, missing from World War II, have been identified and are being returned to their families for burial with full military honors.
They are 1st Lt. Cecil W. Biggs, of Teague, Texas; 1st Lt. William L. Pearce, of San Antonio, Texas; 2nd Lt. Thomas R. Yenner, of Kingston, Pa.; Tech. Sgt. Russell W. Abendschoen of York, Pa.; and Staff Sgt. George G. Herbst of Brooklyn, N.Y.; all U.S. Army Air Forces. Pearce was buried April 27 in Louisville, Ky.; Herbst will be buried June 8 at Arlington National Cemetery near Washington, D.C.; Biggs will be buried June 9 in Teague, Texas; Abendschoen’s funeral is June 13 at Arlington; and Yenner will be buried July 30 at Arlington.
Representatives from the Army met with the next-of-kin of these men in their hometowns to explain the recovery and identification process and to coordinate interment with military honors on behalf of the secretary of the Army.
On Sept. 21, 1944, a C-47A Skytrain crewed by these airmen was delivering Polish paratroopers to a drop zone south of Arnhem, Holland, in support of “Operation Market Garden.” Soon after departing the drop zone, the plane crashed and there were no survivors. The Germans opened the dikes in the region where the plane crashed and flooded the area before any remains could be recovered.
When Dutch citizens returned to their homes in Arnhem the next year, they recovered remains from the Skytrain’s wreckage and buried them in a nearby cemetery. A U.S. Army graves registration team later disinterred the remains which were reburied as group remains in 1950 at the Zachary Taylor National Cemetery in Kentucky.
In 1994, a Dutch citizen located more human remains and other crew-related materials at a site associated with this C-47 crash. They were eventually turned over to U.S. officials.
Among dental records, other forensic identification tools and circumstantial evidence, scientists from the Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command and the Armed Forces DNA Identification Laboratory also used mitochondrial DNA in the identification of the remains of these five men. The remains that could not be attributed to a specific individual have been buried with the first set of group remains at the Zachary Taylor National Cemetery.
For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.
For additional information on the Defense Department’s mission to account for missing Americans, visit the DPMO Web site at http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo or call (703) 699-1169.
http://icasualties.org/oif/default.aspx
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Please remember to pray for the American soldiers stationed everywhere around the globe and especially in Iraq. Times have been and are very tough and it would be nice if you would all just say a prayer for their safety and for their families.
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Scheduled Activities
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Columbia County Amateur Radio Club meets Every second Thursday @ 7:00 p.m. Union Street Station. And YOU'RE invited. Net is every Sunday at 20:30 on 147.105.
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MCC - "Faith Builders" Small group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays, 6:30 pm to 7:45 pm.
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MCC - Mom's Day Out - Every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 to 2.$10 for the first child, $5 for the second. Call 234-3225 for reservations.
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MCC - Nursing Home Ministry - Meadowbrook Every Tuesday from 10 to 11 am. Taylor, the last Thursday each month.
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Men's Prayer Breakfast held every Tuesday morning at 6 AM in Miller's Cafeteria. If you aren't a regular participant at the Men's Prayer Breakfast, you're missing some great food, fellowship and inspired teaching of the Word. Hope to see you there.
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Emergency Phone Number 911
(Fire, Police, Ambulance, Sheriff, etc. )
Central Dispatch 234-5655
(Non - Emergency Number)
Direct Numbers
Ambulance - 234-7371 (24 Hour)
Jail - 234-5331 (24 Hour)
Poison Control - 800-222-1222 (24 Hour)
http://www. aapcc. org/
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"There is not enough darkness in the world to put out the light of one candle."
"Laugh whenever you can and cry if you need to." -- "Bug"
"I read the end of the book. We win!" -- "Bug"
"We may not be able to cure the world, but we don't have to make it sicker." -- "Bug"
"There just ain't enough fingers for all the holes in the dike." - - "Bug"
"It's no big deal doing what God tells you to do. A big deal would be NOT doing what God tells you to do. Just ask Jonah." - - Paul Troquille
"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in ... and how many want out." - - Tony Blair
"Information is the currency of democracy." - Jefferson
~~~~~
Hope you enjoy the newsletter.
Again, thanks to all our contributors this week.
God bless and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Phil 1:2-6 Neh 4:15-18 Mat 18:1-4 Mat 18:15-17 http://www.e-min.org/
God is Good and Faithful CU 73 IC JFM CSP NREMT-I KC5HII
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